Scene From Everything Else is Crooked

What follows is an excerpt from the play I wrote expanding upon the character of Katie

Scene Five

The interior of an Asian Fusion restaurant. The kind of place that is appropriating every culture it could think of, but the food is cheap and good so you go there anyway. Katie and Rae are perusing the menu. 

KATIE:

Want to split an appetizer?

RAE:

Dumplings?

KATIE:

Are they pork?

RAE:

I think so. Why?

KATIE:

I can't eat pork.

RAE:

You're kidding. You can not move to North Carolina and not eat pork. Barbecue is in our blood. 

KATIE:

I know! I'm just legitimately allergic. 

RAE:

To pork?

KATIE:

Its a weird one. 

RAE:

Why pick North Carolina if you can't enjoy the best thing about this state? I do not understand your life decisions. 

KATIE:

Sometimes neither do I. 

RAE:

I'm glad you moved here though. 

KATIE:

Why's that? 

RAE:

It's nice to have another one around, you know? 

KATIE:

Another?

RAE:

You know. 

KATIE:

Do I?

RAE:

You know. 

KATIE:

Oh! Oh, God. You think I'm a... a...

RAE:

It's not a bad word. 

KATIE:

(Glances around the restaurant in a panic)

Here it is! 

RAE:

You get used to it. 

KATIE:

I'm sorry I...I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea. 

RAE:

You didn't. 

KATIE:

But you think that I'm...? 

RAE:

And you don't think you are?

KATIE:

I... Why do you think I am?

RAE:

Because you keep flirting with me. 

KATIE:

What? No I haven't. Have I? 

RAE:

You're awfully dressed up for a casual meal out after work with your neighbor. 

KATIE:

I was dressed up for work, I just threw this on. 

RAE:

God, if I could just "throw something on" and look like you. 

KATIE:

Oh, please. 

RAE:

You turned bright red when I asked if you were seeing anyone the other day. 

KATIE:

Well, that's an odd question to ask your neighbor.

RAE:

I just wanted to know if I needed to be prepared to sound proof my apartment. The walls are super thin. 

KATIE:

Oh my god.

RAE:

You're doing it again. 

KATIE:

Doing what?

RAE:

Turning red.

KATIE:

I'm a very private person! 

RAE:

You gave me a vibrator recommendation yesterday!

KATIE:

Shhhh lower your voice!

RAE:

You know for a sex ed teacher you're kind of a prude. 

KATIE:

We're in public! 

PRINCIPAL:

Katie?  

KATIE:

Principal Saunders! 

RAE:

Principal Saunders?

PRINCIPAL:

Please, call me Lisa. 

RAE:

(Reaches out her hand to introduce herself)

Racheal. 

KATIE:

Racheal?

RAE:

(To Katie)

Rae's a nickname. 

KATIE:

Oh. 

PRINCIPAL:

Nice to meet you Racheal. I'm glad to see you've shown Katie the best place for dumplings in town. 

RAE:

Ah yes, well I'm afraid she'll never get to try them. Katie here is allergic to pork. 

PRINCIPAL:

A North Carolinian that can't eat barbecue? 

RAE:

The traitor right? 

PRINCIPAL:

It's certainly a shame.

Beat.

So how did you two meet? 

KATIE:

We're not-

RAE:

We're neighbors. 

PRINCIPAL:

Oh, that's nice. Good to see Southern hospitality hasn't completely died with my generation. You millennials with your phones, I didn't think anyone talked to their neighbors anymore. 

KATIE:

Yeah, well Rae's- Racheal, is different. 

PRINCIPAL:

So it seems. Well, I've got some hungry college kids home for the weekend so I'd best go get this takeout. Enjoy your meal.

RAE:

Thanks, you too. Good to meet you! 

PRINCIPAL:

Likewise. 

Principal exits. 

KATIE:

Fuck. 

RAE:

What? 

KATIE:

That was so weird!

RAE:

No it wasn't. 

KATIE:

I have never seen her wear jeans. 

RAE:

She seems cool. 

KATIE:

No she does not. 

RAE:

I mean she seems like a retired soccer mom, so like that kind of cool. 

KATIE:

She reminds me of my mom's church friends. 

RAE:

And that's a bad thing? 

KATIE:

You heard her, good to know "southern hospitality" didn't die with my generation. She's condescending. I get the sense she doesn't trust me. 

RAE:

Yeah people here can be pretty traditional. If you eat with the wrong salad fork you'll wind up on someone's shit list. 

KATIE:

You're not. 

RAE:

What?

KATIE:

Traditional.

RAE:

Haha. No, I'm not. 

Beat. 

I don't think you are either. 

Beat. 

You're doing the thing again. 

KATIE:

The turning red thing? 

RAE:

Mhmm. 

KATIE:

Yeah, you seem to be making me do that a lot lately. 

RAE:

Oh really? 

KATIE:

Yeah.

Beat. 

Yeah, so um, do you want to order an appetizer? 

RAE:

Oh. Yeah sure. Spring rolls?

KATIE:

Sounds good. 

Blackout.